Dear Super Shady friend,
I know it has been a long time since we’ve talked. The reason why I have decided to write you this letter is because I feel that you need a explanation of why I have completely cut ties with you after high school. It may take while but please, at least have the decency to read through this letter and reflect on why I have done this to you…..
Since it’s the new year (a little over due perhaps), I have decided to make a vow to myself, to always value the people that I care about me and cut ties to those shady, two faced “friends”, after high school gradually. (Like seriously, cramping ma style brah. I ain’t gettin’ any mo to my jo. And y’all just reppin’ and doin’ ya own thang. Y’all know what I’m sayin’) <—– ….. Right about that. Ignore that please. My inner thug just slips out sometimes when I’m frustrated.
I admit back in my “not-so-proud days” in primary school, I was a bitch. I used try to start fight with boys, put down girls and I would bitched about them behind their backs. I was arrogant, two-faced bitch who doesn’t give a donkey’s ass about my grades and always ended in detention for being too hot-headed and worked up. And then one day, let just say, that everyone turned on me and I was a lone wolf for a couple of months and it was the saddest days of my life.
You know,what’s truly inspiring?
Having to turn my life around and show these people that I’m human and I have a heart. Slowly from that day onward, I decided to focus on myself and started to fix up my own flaws, rather masking my insecurities and using bullying and violence as an outlet. If I kept doing this, I would be heading towards a brick wall and I would be broken up into millions of pieces. I still live with the “devil”, inside me but it is tamed now. Dormant. But, I’m not going to guarantee that it will be suppressed like this forever. But, sometimes, I need it. Whether, if a creepy old guy tries to lure me in his “oh-so-innocent”white van, I’ll stare him down like a bitch and wrestle him to the ground. (9 times out of 10, it works XD) I realized that not everyone likes me and I don’t have to impress anyone or belong anywhere or to anyone, in order to be accepted. (Belonging reference….HA..HA..). All I had to do is strut my style and don’t give a donkey’s ass about what people say about me.
Some people might say, “Really Jenny? In primary/elementary school? That’s nothing. You were young.”
Well, I believe any incident in any stage of your life shapes the way you are today ,regardless even if it is an incident that happened either in elementary/primary school or high school. Everyone will eventually have a turning point in their life, that will shape who you are today. I just got lucky that this turning point happened during my early stages and by the time I got to high school, I immediately distinguish the superficial from the genuine friends, based off myself back in the “dark ages.” Let me tell you there is a HUGE difference. I mean, A HUGE DIFFERENCE.
“But, Jenny I know the difference between the genuine and the superficial. You don’t need to tell me.”
Look, the odds are people may think they have good rapport with that one person, not knowing that person have bitched about them behind their back and manipulating them. They will be nice to you one day and completely ignore on other days. Chances are, if one bitches about another to you, who knows what one is going to say behind your back. (Trust me, I know. Since, I used to be a double offender of gossiping and also the subject of gossip too.) Bottom line is YOU’RE BLINDED BY THIS FRIENDSHIP.
According to Swoozie from YouTube, “Everyone wants to be victim not the villain. ” It’s true. Why go and admit your misdeeds and vices out to the world? Obviously not! And obviously, to look good (reputation, image and belong to a community of friends.) If you have extreme shady friends, their ultimate tool is MA-NIP-UL-A-TION. (Note that please.) If you guys fell out, the super, ultra shady friends will tailor make a story and turn against you. At the same time, making you believe it’s your fault. (when in truth, it’s theirs.)
Narcissism is what defines them. Some say it just excessive self-esteem. Well, I say that’s a load of bullshit. Because, seriously if you are talking about yourself every single second to me and rubbing your life successes up in my face, then Imma gunna get ghetto up y’all ass some day and give you a taste of a my knuckle sandwich. >:(. Chances are, if you got hit by a bus or got abducted by aliens, the shady extremist friend is not the one to count on. These people won’t bow down at your feet and apologize. Pride is what holds them back from doing a moralistic deed. Everyone in a sense is narcissistic, but to this degree!
Phew! Now to conclude this article, I would like to say; Mate, if you are reading this and if you are super shady friend and recognize the traits that I mention above, I have eight words for you:
Y’ALL GOTTA STEP UP TO YOUR GAME MY BROTHER/SISTER!
Turn your life around, like I did. Show them your human rather than some manipulating betch and value your existing friendships and relationships. Be respectful and considerate. Chances are, if you’re not stepping up your game, let me tell you that, you are going to live a lonely life and no one is going to be at your funeral.
“The first to apologize is the bravest”
“The first to forgive is the strongest”
” The first to forget is the happiest.”
And, I did just that and so can you.
I will rant on….
P.S I was really contemplating whether I should write this blog post or not, because it really a personal issue that has been bothering me for months. I don’t really write personal things. I hope you readers don’t take this the wrong way. Don’t be sympathetic towards me. I just want to share and aware. XD